Quimtapbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable duck.

Quimtapbeg created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quimtapbeg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimtapbeg, it will think nothing of it.

Quimtapbeg's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quimtapbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not take Quimtapbeg's name in vain.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Quimtapbeg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.