Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent lizard.

Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. You must pray to Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt nine times a day.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Somgabnanbeplikrilldissnurt must be the most important thing in your life.