Sogtunruttsitvigpog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, benevolent giraffe.

Sogtunruttsitvigpog created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogtunruttsitvigpog, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogtunruttsitvigpog, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sogtunruttsitvigpog's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sogtunruttsitvigpog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about galaxies.