Bamhancib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak scorpion.

Bamhancib created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamhancib, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bamhancib, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bamhancib's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bamhancib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Run away if three ducks approach from the west.

3. Put Bamhancib first in all things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not eat figs.