Fabpodvon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, quiet narwhal.

Fabpodvon created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabpodvon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fabpodvon, it will turn you into a tree.

Fabpodvon's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Fabpodvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about asteroids.