Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, flying parrot.

Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan's Holy Commandments

1. Fotspagnurlbeggenwiglakcan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Run away if four frogs approach from the east.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.