Pigvogquart is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciless seal.

Pigvogquart created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigvogquart, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pigvogquart, she will strike you with lightening.

Pigvogquart's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Pigvogquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pigvogquart.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about gravity.