Tamfonlog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered monkey.

Tamfonlog created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamfonlog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tamfonlog, he will try to impress you with trees.

Tamfonlog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tamfonlog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tamfonlog six times a day.

2. Tamfonlog loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.