Bampopmon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, amazing crab.

Bampopmon created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bampopmon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bampopmon, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bampopmon's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bampopmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed carrots to ducks while wearing violet stockings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must love Bampopmon.