Jopkancuss is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty camel.

Jopkancuss created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Jopkancuss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jopkancuss, he will turn you into a duck.

Jopkancuss' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jopkancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not commit murder.