Stigbitbin is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish narwhal.

Stigbitbin created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbitbin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigbitbin, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stigbitbin's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Stigbitbin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Stigbitbin nine times a day.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Feed all hungry otters.