Fligpaknarl is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, moody rat.

Fligpaknarl created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fligpaknarl, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fligpaknarl, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fligpaknarl's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Fligpaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Never feed strawberries to bats while wearing red coats.