Zedkonnib is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous monkey.

Zedkonnib created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedkonnib, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedkonnib, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zedkonnib's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zedkonnib's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Zedkonnib.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Zedkonnib on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

5. Always help sick hamsters.