Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless lizard.

Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bun Targcipbum Gigortcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near sharks.

2. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

3. Run away from black mites, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.