Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful slug.

Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. You must pray to Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun four times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fadyarpbep Vonkxembun.

5. Never think about planets.