Spaglarndin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, happy gerbil.

Spaglarndin created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Spaglarndin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spaglarndin, he will turn you into a goat.

Spaglarndin's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Spaglarndin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.