Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking goat.

Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Japfatlendimstip Bongodhas' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never bounce in the presence of snakes.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Pray towards the west.