Fumkanbod is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fumkanbod created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumkanbod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fumkanbod, he will not invite you to parties.

Fumkanbod's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fumkanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never laugh near bats.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about gravity.