Boncatdam Jopvogflag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, emotional zebra.

Boncatdam Jopvogflag created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Boncatdam Jopvogflag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Boncatdam Jopvogflag, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Boncatdam Jopvogflag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Boncatdam Jopvogflag's Holy Commandments

1. Boncatdam Jopvogflag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Boncatdam Jopvogflag loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.