Cudpidgig Godkikcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring cow.

Cudpidgig Godkikcum created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudpidgig Godkikcum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cudpidgig Godkikcum, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cudpidgig Godkikcum's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Cudpidgig Godkikcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.