Gunciprut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gunciprut created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunciprut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gunciprut, she will turn you into a frog.

Gunciprut's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gunciprut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed beans to mice while wearing purple skirts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always pray immersed in water.