Hapgutyak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, capable frog.

Hapgutyak created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapgutyak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hapgutyak, she will come to you in dreams.

Hapgutyak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Hapgutyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Put Hapgutyak first in all things.

4. Hapgutyak must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the south.