Cemarnxen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind goblin.

Cemarnxen created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemarnxen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cemarnxen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cemarnxen's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cemarnxen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Cemarnxen loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.