Gabvoglist is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous parrot.

Gabvoglist created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Gabvoglist, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gabvoglist, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Gabvoglist's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gabvoglist's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Gabvoglist on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gabvoglist.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about cell theory.