Cadvigbem is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awesome narwhal.

Cadvigbem created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cadvigbem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cadvigbem, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cadvigbem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cadvigbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cadvigbem.