Flambellmil is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, caring clam.

Flambellmil created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flambellmil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flambellmil, it will laugh at you.

Flambellmil's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flambellmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Put Flambellmil first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Do not take Flambellmil's name in vain.