Pomgumyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, blissful tortoise.

Pomgumyarl created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pomgumyarl, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pomgumyarl, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pomgumyarl's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pomgumyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about comets.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Always wear blue.