Lopgepnab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited walrus.

Lopgepnab created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Lopgepnab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopgepnab, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Lopgepnab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Lopgepnab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Always stare at clouds.