Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited badger.

Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Mobsisvaglargjapfedbadbig Somarfzenrowcusstafbaf Logmitstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.