Vogbitster is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, benevolent fairy.

Vogbitster created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogbitster, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vogbitster, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Vogbitster's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vogbitster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vogbitster.