Flatsafhud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthinking shark.

Flatsafhud created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Flatsafhud, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flatsafhud, she will destroy your home planet.

Flatsafhud's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Flatsafhud's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Feed all hungry ants.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.