Dimgedquimtagrulpad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic ant.

Dimgedquimtagrulpad created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimgedquimtagrulpad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dimgedquimtagrulpad, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dimgedquimtagrulpad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dimgedquimtagrulpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention birds.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dimgedquimtagrulpad.

4. Put Dimgedquimtagrulpad first in all things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dimgedquimtagrulpad.