Jabcudfen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, stupid bat.

Jabcudfen created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jabcudfen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabcudfen, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jabcudfen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Jabcudfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jabcudfen's name in vain.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.