Mifmetsagtag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, amazing crow.

Mifmetsagtag created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifmetsagtag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mifmetsagtag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Mifmetsagtag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Mifmetsagtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.