Nurllarpvan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, competent wyrm.

Nurllarpvan created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurllarpvan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurllarpvan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nurllarpvan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Nurllarpvan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nurllarpvan six times a day.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never skip near monkeys.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Always pray immersed in water.