Wapcedhatlin is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, fast cow.

Wapcedhatlin created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapcedhatlin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wapcedhatlin, it will torture you forever.

Wapcedhatlin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Wapcedhatlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Wapcedhatlin.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never jump near sharks.