Rullkik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ruthless hippopotamus.

Rullkik created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rullkik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rullkik, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Rullkik's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Rullkik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Rullkik eight times a day.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never wear magenta coats.

4. Horses are not to be trusted.

5. Never hurt ducks.