Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow cow.

Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg, it will think nothing of it.

Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cedstragjarndintagstragqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.