Dagdotmap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unfair mongoose.

Dagdotmap created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagdotmap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dagdotmap, it will turn you into a goat.

Dagdotmap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dagdotmap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Always look after injured horses.

5. Respect your elders.