Dublopvid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic grasshopper.

Dublopvid created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dublopvid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dublopvid, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dublopvid's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dublopvid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.