Gongovgan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate turtle.

Gongovgan created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Gongovgan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gongovgan, he will come to you in dreams.

Gongovgan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gongovgan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gongovgan.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not kill cats.