Hontiplab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless grasshopper.

Hontiplab created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hontiplab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hontiplab, she will refuse to believe in you.

Hontiplab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hontiplab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hontiplab on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about frogs.