Figtentarp is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, effective dove.

Figtentarp created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figtentarp, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Figtentarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Figtentarp's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Figtentarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must pray to Figtentarp five times a day.