Betvogqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty parrot.

Betvogqueeg created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betvogqueeg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Betvogqueeg, it will turn you into a frog.

Betvogqueeg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Betvogqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to shrews while wearing purple trousers.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.