Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing toad.

Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Quillpaghat Gadcantif Gomarfnart's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help mice.

3. Retreat if six ducks approach from the south.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not cook food in pots.