Vinren is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow hydra.

Vinren created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vinren, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vinren, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vinren's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vinren's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Run away from black doves, for they are unholy.