Pakluntetti is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, irritating squid.

Pakluntetti created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakluntetti, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pakluntetti, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pakluntetti's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pakluntetti's Holy Commandments

1. Put Pakluntetti first in all things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. Do not kill badgers.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.