Sawsomyattmilfig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unjust jackal.

Sawsomyattmilfig created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawsomyattmilfig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sawsomyattmilfig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sawsomyattmilfig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sawsomyattmilfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Sawsomyattmilfig loves swans, so they must be honoured.