Fonjapflisbonk is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, slow slug.

Fonjapflisbonk created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Fonjapflisbonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fonjapflisbonk, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fonjapflisbonk's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fonjapflisbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Fonjapflisbonk.