Femmatjab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, passionate fly.

Femmatjab created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femmatjab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Femmatjab, she will not invite you to parties.

Femmatjab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Femmatjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Femmatjab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Femmatjab loves geese, so they must be respected.